My Journey to Embracing Feminine Energy

There I was, standing in the middle of yet another “I’ll just do it myself” moment. The urge to scream, micromanage, and take control was bubbling up like a volcano ready to erupt. It’s not that I don’t trust him—I trust myself more. Making sure everything is perfect has always been my thing. If I don’t handle it, who will?

And then, calm as ever, he looks at me and says, “Relax. I’ve got this.”
The look I gave him in return? Whew. If looks could kill, that one would’ve dropped a lion where it stood. Part of me wanted to believe him. But the other part—the one used to run the show—wanted to snatch the reins back before something went wrong.

Recently, I’ve been doing some soul-searching, diving into articles and books about energy and relationships. They all seem to agree: the energy you bring into a relationship is the energy you’ll get back. That hit me like a ton of bricks. Could my need for control, and constant hovering be sending the wrong message? Could it be draining the relationship of the balance it needs to thrive? But letting go? That’s the hard part.

I don’t want to push him away. I don’t want to make him feel like I don’t appreciate all the ways he steps up. But I also don’t want to lose myself in the process. My friends are quick to throw in their two cents: “Don’t let a man tell you what to do!” “Be strong! Don’t give up your power!”
Here’s the thing, though—most of them don’t even have a man. So, while I value their opinions, I’ve started wondering: am I taking advice from people who aren’t even walking this path?

It’s not about giving up my power. It’s about balance. Deep down, I know that letting him take the lead sometimes isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a sign of trust. But the struggle is real. I’ve been in charge for so long that the idea of leaning back, of being softer, feels vulnerable. Scary, even.

And then there’s this other thought: good men are hard to find. I have one. I know I do. But if I keep operating out of this need to control, I could lose him. Not because he doesn’t love me, but because no one wants to feel like their efforts are never enough.

So, something has to change. And the more I reflect, the more I realize—it’s me. It’s not about changing who I am but shifting my energy. Learning to trust, let go, and embrace my feminine side isn’t just for him. It’s for me, too.